Saturday, February 23, 2008

Augustus Obamus

February 24, 399

Arcadius:

Screw you! If I wanted your stupid advice I would ask for it.

I have everything under control here. I have granted the guest-workers amnesty and they are now full citizens of The Empire. Surely such a humane move will enrich the diversity of The Empire and make us all happy human beings. I feel good about it.

You Easterners would be well advised to pay more attention to the feminine side of your nature. War is so yesterday. All cultures are equal anyway, don't you know? Your unfair criticism is only guest-workerphobia.

Upon the foundation of my brilliant and insightful leadership Rome will triumph for another 1,000 years!

Emperor Honorius
Rome-Milan

P.S. That Africanus Augustus Obamus guy you recommended for proconsul is a big hit. He fills the Colliseum with every speech. The changes he is making will be everything we hope for.