Flipper Snoots

At least three in the room? Beldar makes an excellent point and chuckle.

But the real story is that it's a snub to his audience. What a condescending, elitist a--hole! And he could tell by looking at the crowd? They didn't look French enough for him? This is risible. I know many folks who way, way outperform flipper's Senate salary and most days you'd never know it the way they dress and conduct themselves.

Stay out there flipping around on your windsurfer Senator -- it's surely the sport of the people.

You Don't Have To Read Scrappleface

And you don't have to laugh out loud either:

:(2004-10-09) -- The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) said today it has found what may be a cache of plans by John Forbes Kerry to address the crises in health care, the economy, Iraq and a host of other national traumas.

"We were called in on the case after the plans had gone missing through two presidential debates," said an FBI spokesman. "I have to caution you, however, that it may take several months or more to translate these documents and discover whether they are, in fact, plans. It's still up in the air because the file folders in which we found them had no labels. Apparently, Mr. Kerry doesn't like to label anything."

A spokesman for the Kerry-Edwards campaign refused to comment directly on the FBI discovery.

"Sen. Kerry has said 'I have a plan' and we will leave it at that," said the unnamed source. "The FBI, at the direction of John Ashcroft, is on a fishing expedition to embarrass John Kerry just before the election."

The source noted that "when Martin Luther King Jr. said 'I have a dream' no one demanded that he prove it. Why should Sen. Kerry be held to higher standard?"

Hat tip Powerline.

John Kerry For President -- of France

"Not even French students march on behalf of Zarqawi's beheaders!" VDH rocks:

Meanwhile, Senator Kerry offers neither a plan to stay nor one to leave Iraq, only something "secret." He thinks a country that defeated Japan, Italy, and Germany at the same time as a warm-up to keeping at bay a nuclear Soviet Union and China must fail if she takes on Afghanistan and Iraq at once. His trial balloons so far — beg the Germans and French to come in and give the Iranians clean uranium — have met with polite chuckles. We already know the effect that such warmed-over Carterism will have in Iraq: failure with the added wage of humiliation.

In fact, Kerry's only chance for honest intellectual criticism of the Bush administration might have come from the right: stern remonstrations over our tolerance of looting, inability to train Iraqis in real numbers, laxity in shutting off the borders, failure to control arms depots, tolerance for terrorist enclaves in Fallujah, and sloth in releasing aid money to grass-roots organizations. Yet by putting a tired Richard Holbrook or a whining Jamie Rubin on television, Kerry suggests that far from chastising Bush for doing too little, he believes that the president has already done too much.

The administration's gaffes all share a common theme of restraining our military power in fear of either Middle Eastern or European censure. But once one climbs into a cesspool like Iraq, one must either clean it up or go home, and that means suffering the 48-hour hysteria of the global media about collateral damage in exchange for killing the terrorists and freeing the country. Only that way can we impress the fencesitting Iraqis that we employ an iron fist in service to their own security and prosperity, and thus we — not the beheaders and kidnappers — are their only partners for peace.

Fallujah? Let's roll!

MSM Debate Watch: Advantage Bush

Here's what USA Today/CNN/Gallup's post debate poll shows:

ST. LOUIS — President Bush bounced back from a less-than-stellar performance in his first debate to finish virtually tied with Democrat John Kerry in their second encounter here Friday, a USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll of debate watchers shows.

Overall, 47% of the 515 registered voters surveyed said Kerry won, while 45% said the edge went to Bush, well within the poll's plus-or-minus 5 percentage point error margin.

And on who could better handle the three key issues of the 2004 campaign — the economy, Iraq and the war on terror — Bush more than held his own.

On the economy, debate watchers said Bush and Kerry tied at 49% each.

But they said Bush came off as better able to handle the war in Iraq, 53% to 46%.

And Bush was rated higher than Kerry on managing the overall war on terror, 56% to 39%.

So let's think about this. John Kerry's a lawyer and by definition should be a great debater. That's what lawyer's do. But we now have "inarticulate" W up there in a virtual tie with Kerry. And when you look behind the numbers to the issues, Bush is no worse than tied and has the most important issue as a double digit blowout in his favor.

UPDATE: Oh, and John Howard has won! Wretchard has it nailed.

And Bush does this well with memos like this leaking out of ABC -- the network that moderated last night's debate -- and Gibson clearly favoring Kerry with the questions. If it wasn't for the MSM spin, Bush would be trouncing Kerry right now.

Shockingly Updated: NYeT, NYeT, NYeT!

Plus ca SHOCKED, mais SHOCKED!

UPDATE: A friend points out that the NYeT is busy trying to spin the fact that some U.S. oil companies and individuals took Oil For Food vouchers as proof that the French aren't evil after all. Here's a comment from Roger's blog that holds an X-ray to NYeT's Kerry elves:

Simply laughable, and also totally predictable. When NPR deigned to mention this story Thursday, whom do they interview? France;s ambassador to the US. What's Ambassador Levitte's line? "The suggestion that France was bribed is outrageous! There were Americans who took vouchers as well!" What's the NYT angle today? There were Americans who took vouchers as well!

EARTH TO BILL KELLER: The whole point of the Oil For Fraud scandal is that French and Russian government policy toward Saddam was motivated by a desire for massive economic rewards, both via sweetheart deals for their "national champion" oil companies (TotalFinaElf's W Qurna deal, most egregiously) and for Chirac and Putin's personal associates. And these deals were in violation of the sanctions that Chirac and Putin's governments, as UNSC members, were pledged to uphold! This is fraud, money-laundering, sanctions-breaking and influence-peddling by the governments of France and Russia.

As to the US oil majors receiving vouchers: so what? As I've pointed out a hundred times, every oil company on the planet was in favor of ending sanctions because they wanted to do business with Saddam. XOM, ChevTex, ConocoPhilips: all of them were on record as urging Congress to lift sanctions. This indeed was "blood for oil": the blood of Saddam's victims in exchange for lucrative oil deals for the oil majors.

This was the OPPOSITE of what the US government, both under Clinton and under Bush, favored! The policies advocated by oilmen who couldn't care less about Saddam's slaughterhouse (after all, the oil majors do a vast business with hideous regimes all over the planet) were rejected by Congress.

So the clear, obvious inference is that for the French and Russian governments, commercial considerations outweighed legal and moral obligations. For the US congress and for both the Bush and Clinton administrations, the reverse is true.

Shame on NPR. Shame on Bill Keller and the NYT. This is outrageous, disgusting spin.

Nah. Just another day at the NYeT.

Except for David Brooks, of course. I wonder how much longer he'll last before being sent to the reeducation camp?

French Testing Iranian Bribed Inspections End

C'est le Frenchies ala Saddam.

Testing Turkey for missing men.

And today even the (cr)AP gets dangerously close to the truth. Stopped clocks and all that...

Did I forget to mention insufficient bribery? Or that I'm getting nauseous from the wild gyrations?

THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

UPDATE: Of course I assumed you could figure out I didn't write this! Sheeeesh! Found in my email of course...

402-2

Charlie votes against his own bill. Hypocrisy knows no bounds...

BUT I Didn't Mean That!

In honor of John Kerry's civil new ads attacking President Bush as a "liar" for suggesting that John Kerry equivocates, I have put together the following little "salute".

The Top Five "Buts" Of John Kerry:

5) "I have nothing but respect for the British, Tony Blair, and what they're been willing to do" -- BUT they've been "coerced and bribed".

4) "I couldn't agree more that the Iraqis want to be free and that they could be free" -- BUT Prime Minister Allawi is a "puppet".

3) Nuclear proliferation is the foremost danger to the world -- BUT we should supply nuclear fuel to Iran since that worked so well with North Korea.

2) Bush wrongly acted unilaterally in Iraq by not agreeing to the demands of France, Germany and Russia -- BUT he should not engage in multilateral talks with North Korea.

1) "But I can do a better job of protecting America’s security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere.”

WHOOPS! Make that SIX! He managed to pack TWO BUTS into that last one!

And he's not actually running for President -- he's actually running to be E.T.!

Deja vu all over again...

NYeT, NYeT, NYeT. Not in the NYeT. Yet.

Guess Who?

"But nobody could say they were interested in oil in the Balkans, or in strategic needs, and the people who tried to say that - like Chomsky - looked ridiculous. So now I was interested."

10 Best Guesses As To What Kerry Pulled Out Of His Pocket

UPDATE: Preponderance of evidence is now "pen". However, my favorites on the list remain unaffected :)

Shamelessly stolen from Glenn from reader Barry Dauphin:

10 Best Guesses as to what Kerry pulled out of his pocket.

10. Good luck note from Dan Rather.
9. Original Killian memo--on WordPerfect!
8. Directions to Cambodian Christmas party.
7. John Edwards' billable hours on campaign trail.
6. Appointment slip for next Botox treatment.
5. French to English dictionary.
4. Lucky CIA hat!
3. Commitment papers for Theresa.
2. Leaves of Grass.
1. One way ticket to Boston!!!!

I'm going with number 4.

There was just no way I could allow you to miss that. And Glenn's choice is right of course. It does just barely edge #8 though... ^_-

Silly Me

UPDATE: See correction here. But not the integrity part -- pecan plantations referenced below remain in force.
------

Why didn't I think to bring reference materials to my oral exams?

I-N-T-E-G-R-I-T-Y.

And even if I didn't have any there was no way to cheat. Looks like Kerry forgot about the backstage cameras.

Pecan plantations anyone?

And Some Hope To Make Things Glow

Did I forget to mention that there are more natives on the pecan plantation?

C'est le frauder. N'est pas?

Today's MSM Update

NYeT flunks with a CAPITAL F. While Peter and Tom hit bottom and start digging (as Charles would say).

Meanwhile, Dr. Newcomer is about to pulverize the latest Rather/Mapes pygmy into bloody DNA bits on the wall. Dan Rather still believes that there isn't any DNA in forensic document examination doncha know. Sigh...

Wretchard On When To Hit The Gas

My Cambodian Christmas in Baghdad?

While the Sunni insurgency is not an intrinsically large problem and Falluja something that can be recovered with ease; an Iranian bomb or a Kerry victory are situations from which no recovery may be possible. Therefore the necessary (but not sufficient) condition for victory, not just in the Sunni triangle, may be a non-nuclear Iran and the election of a President at least partially committed to victory against terror. We can only say 'faster please' when the car is not in reverse. But as Gerecht implies, we will have to wait until November to see if we have any car left at all or whether Iraq will be the future scene of "My Cambodian Christmas in Baghdad".

RTWT (Read The Whole Thing).