All Solved (Updated With Gandhi's Wisdom)

"In step 3, we buy the world a puppy." [ And all us warmongers somehow never thought of this! Shows you just how little we know, eh? -ed. ]

UPDATE: Sorry about that brain fart. Fred Thompson has reminded me why:

"And that’s a pretty good question. At what point is it okay to fight dictators like Saddam or the al Qaeda terrorists who want to take his place?

It turns out that the answer, according to Gandhi, is NEVER. During World War II, Gandhi penned an open letter to the British people, urging them to surrender to the Nazis. Later, when the extent of the holocaust was known, he criticized Jews who had tried to escape or fight for their lives as they did in Warsaw and Treblinka. “The Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher’s knife,” he said. “They should have thrown themselves into the sea from cliffs.” “Collective suicide,” he told his biographer, “would have been heroism.”

The so-called peace movement certainly has the right to make Gandhi’s way their way, but their efforts to make collective suicide American foreign policy just won’t cut it in this country. When American’s think of heroism, we think of the young American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, risking their lives to prevent another Adolph Hitler or Saddam Hussein." [ But look on the bright side. If Hitler had won, there wouldn't have been this continuing desperate need to keep stuffing Eugenics down the Memory Hole. Eugenics? What Eugenics? -ed. ]