Iowahawk Has James Covered!

"Dear Subscriber:
According to our records, your 1957 subscription to The Claxon is scheduled to expire soon. Please don't let this happen! $2 per month will buy you the Quint-State area's leading newspaper, delivered each morning by one of our cheerful Junior Claxoneer news lads -- like 12-year old Claxon Carrier of the Year Skip Olbermaier! Each issue is packed with items of interest around our community - like:
- Goings-on at City Hall, including the controversial $0.0032 sales tax plan!
- Publisher Felton Beswick Jr. keeps you up-to-date on the Red Menace!
- The latest Capitol dispatches from our Washington DC cub reporter Bob Smalls!
- Friendly sportscribe Jocko Culligan follows the Quints on another pennant run, and the QSU - - Scalpin' Injuns all the way to the Petunia Bowl!
- "Kiddie capers" with adorable 7-year old Beswick twins Eileen and Feltie!
- Complete TV listings for both channels!
- Household cleaning tips for the ladies from beloved Beswick Manor maid Ol' Aunt Mammie!
- Full color Sunday comics featuring Lil' Chester, Swirley, and Buzz Galvin All-American!
Plus the latest market quotes for stocks, and crop forecasts for local turnip farmers. Just try to get that coverage from so-called "television news"! And if you order now, we'll include free daily delivery of the Evening Ledger. Don't delay, renew today!" [ And it gets much, much better... -ed. ]