Saturday, October 13, 2007

So What Are You Waiting For?

Congratulations! On behalf of the selection committee, I am pleased to announce that you have been named a 2007 recipient of the Nobel Peace Price, in recognition of your tireless efforts to   RAISE GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE AWARENESS  .

I am also pleased to tell you that as a winner, you have been pre-approved for membership in the Nobel Peace Player's Club, offering exclusive money-saving benefits available only to laureates like you. Please take a few minutes to look over the enclosed enrollment materials. At only $299.95 per year, I'm sure you'll agree that membership is a bargain at twice the price!

"The Player's Club GoldCard is recognized everywhere -- even in hell! I redeemed my Players GoldPoints at Club Satan for an exciting eternity of getting pounded up the ass. Thanks, NobelCo!"
-- Yasser Arafat (1994)

"Don't miss the boat like I did, comrade! I forgot to enroll, and now I'm spending eternity pounding Yasser Arafat up the ass."
-- Le Duc Tho (1973)

OK, bad language again but I didn't say it...