Saturday, May 16, 2009

Any Chrysler Execs In The Audience Tonight?

clipped from hotair.com

Yeah, all kinds of people are kicking themselves for voting for me. Any Chrysler execs in the audience tonight? Wave your top hats and monocles. Just kidding, they’re all in their panic rooms. If they want to figure out what the hell happened, I hope they stocked copies of The Communist Manifesto. It’ll change your life! [grins]

Well, it’s about time for me to clear the stage so Wanda Sykes can say things really loudly and wait for people to laugh. I hope she uses the Limbaugh jokes I sent her.

And that’s my time, folks, you’ve been great. POTUS out!

Heh.

UPDATE: OK, I just can't let you miss this part:

Hey, have you seen that new Star Trek movie? Terrific, terrific stuff. A Star Trek for our times. I’ve even read some reviews saying I’d make a good starship captain. Yeah. Can’t you just see it? Right after I lay off 8.9% of the crew and blame it on the previous captain, I go around the galaxy apologizing to the Klingons. And the Romulans. And the Cardassians. And the Ferengi. And the Tribbles…

I wouldn’t have Air Force One, though. Or as I like to call it, Air Force 9/11. We really put a good scare into those New Yorkers, huh? Gotta keep ‘em on their toes. They’ll get over it, though. I mean, what are they gonna do, not vote for me? [biggest laugh of evening]