You might have liberal debating points if:
10) You believe that it's cute and spunky that your wife holds insane "October surprise" conspiracy theories that impugn the integrity of not only the President but the troops
9) You believe that all the terrorist attacks since 9/11 in Bali, Madrid, Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Beslan and elsewhere would not have occurred had the United States focused all of its efforts on Afghanistan -- since there was no contemporary global criticism or protest of that invasion
8) You believe your advocacy in the Cold War of a nuclear freeze was unarguably correct and the same logic should be applied to U.S. weapons development in the terror war
7) You believe that President Kennedy sought and received U.N. approval for his actions in the Cuban Missile Crisis
6) You believe that the best way to form alliances is to insult our allies like Tony Blair and John Howard as being "bribed and coerced" -- and have not called on your campaign spokesman to retract his statement calling Iraqi Prime Minister Allawi a "puppet"
5) You believe ending every statement of seeming positional strength with a "but" clause only emphasizes your unwavering determination
4) You believe that Bush's multilateral negotiating policy with North Korea makes him a cowboy -- and that it's just a coincidence that the North Koreans support your bid for the presidency
3) You believe that you can attract vast numbers of new allies to what you publicly call "the wrong war at the wrong time at the wrong place"
2) You believe the Clinton policy of supplying Kim Jong Il with nuclear fuel has nothing to do with his current possession of nukes and that it should obviously be repeated with Iran
1) You believe all U.S. action to protect its citizens must pass the "global test" -- and that there's no fundmental contradiction involved in allocating democratic votes to dictatorships and terror-enabling countries at the U.N.
UPDATE: Well, well, well. Events have overtaken my original #1. And it will soon be another body blow ad from Bush. Here's the update:
1) You believe all U.S. action to protect its citizens must pass the "global test" -- and clearly Gulf War I didn't pass it since it was backed by the U.N. and we had large numbers of Arab countries in the coalition; so you voted against U.S. participation in that war!
GAME OVER #1 of N to come.
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